IC Voicemail, Driftfleet:

[tothefly]

[There is no recording, just a few clicks and a beep.]

[Leave any IC voice messages or texts for Natasha here.]

Comments

[experiencepoints]

... It was just another step in a long chain of failure.

Eventually, I just shut down. Lost the ability to feel things, entirely. Dropped out of college, knocked my parents out and ran away from home, started freeloading off of my best friend. Started sleeping with her, not sure if it was using her to try to feel again, or trying to pay her back with the only thing I could. It seems like once they were out of my life, I had started to recover somewhat.

And then the world ended.

[tothefly]

[It's not a New story. Privileged girl with privileged life meets expectations set too high, loses way, ends up in a self-destructive spiral. Only the ending really piques her curiosity, something new, and it shows by the spark in her eye.]

When you say ended...

[experiencepoints]

Ended. Destroyed. Annihilated. Unmade. There used to be a planet there, and now there isn't. But that can wait.

... Are you disappointed?

[she manages a bitter, lopsided grin.]

You seemed to think I was interesting, but it turns out, I'm just another cliche story. Rich girl couldn't handle her life, flunks out of everything, so she turns into a drunken waste of space, a worthless person from start to finish. Bet you've heard it a million times before.

[tothefly]

[The look on her face changes subtly, her focus entirely directed at Nightingale, not her story. Not the girl she was, the one she is now. There's something just a little alien in Natasha's eyes as she studies her companion, something cool and assessing.]

What do you want me to tell you?

[experiencepoints]

That there's more alcohol.

[She isn't sure she knows how to want anything else anymore. Anything else she wants, she'll never get, after all.]

[tothefly]

[Natasha doesn't blink, only pours another small amount in both glasses. She's quiet a moment longer, but before Nightingale starts up again, she speaks, voice measured.]

I could tell you you're the most special of snowflakes, and that no one has ever truly suffered as you have, and I could make you believe it. I could tell you yes, that story makes you horrible, and that I'm disgusted by you, and I think I could make you believe that without even trying, since that seems to be what you think you deserve.

Truth is, there's no such thing as a unique backstory, not really. Not for any of us. It's all the same. We're born, we live, we second-guess, we hurt ourselves and we hurt other people. We're alone, except when we're not, and then we die. Doesn't matter what world you're from. The story isn't what makes someone interesting.

[experiencepoints]

[She moves her glass back and forth, but doesn't drink yet, instead just taking in Natasha's words.]

... You're not wrong, about what I deserve. That must be why I'm here.

[tothefly]

What you think you deserve?

[The correction is small, but important, gently emphasized.]

We aren't here to be measured for our actions. I don't know exactly what we are here for yet, but I can tell you that.

[experiencepoints]

I wonder? All I wanted for a long time was to just... Not be alive anymore. Not that that was possible. But then it happened, and now that I'm dead, all that's changed is that I'm alone. Everyone who liked being alive is gone, and I'm the only one left. It feels like a punishment.

[tothefly]

Leaving aside our current existential quandary--since I'm not entirely convinced this still isn't some massive virtual prison, and you're sure you're dead--why do you think it isn't any better? What could change to make you happy?

[experiencepoints]

... Seeing Yura again.

[tothefly]

Was Yura one of the friends you left, back before you left your world? Or...before it was destroyed, I'm still not clear on that.

[experiencepoints]

The world was destroyed.

Yeah. She was... My best friend at home, since we were in elementary school. The same friend I was freeloading off of.

[tothefly]

The one you were sleeping with.

[No judgement in that, either. We all make choices.]

What would having her here change? Is it just having someone else from home?

[experiencepoints]

Someone from home, so I don't feel like I'm crazy whenever all of this is so alien to me. Someone who understands me, and knows me, and can maybe help fill in my life around the amnesia.

... And, she's the one I've been in love with for a long time, so...

[tothefly]

So it would be better, having her around.

[She understands, at least a little.]

What do you think she'd say about all this?

[experiencepoints]

About my being a mess, or this... entire place? She'd be pretty excited to be on TV.

[tothefly]

About this. All of it. The show, the ships, the planets we visit. Would she have liked the ice planet or the beach planet better?

[It's a place to start. Maybe it'll make things worse, talking about these memories, this person, but sometimes that pain of remembering can end up its own catharsis.]

[experiencepoints]

[There's an amused but totally undignified snort of laughter.]

Would the half-cat person prefer freezing her ass off or an unlimited supply of fish? No contest.

[tothefly]

[Laughter is good. Laughter is a start. Natasha smiles, herself.]

Your point is made.

You said your world had lots of different races, right? Cat people, merpeople, elves. Everyone more or less got along?

[experiencepoints]

Beast Tribe. They can have traits of any animal.

[she shakes her head.]

Not really. Beast Tribe and humans are... mostly okay now, except for... a few certain holdouts. The last war between humans and Beast Tribe ended five hundred years ago, when a party banded together to kill the god of war, Tyrfing.

Elves... The elves that live in the city are great, but the forest elves... Well. They kill anyone who sets foot in their forest, no questions asked. Their culture is kind of shit. My friend Araj escaped from there with her family.

Merfolk... we only made contact with them about thirty... Probably closer to thirty-five, that memory was in high school. Thirty five years ago. We don't know much about them, but Cove is a good friend, and ridiculously strong.

[tothefly]

You don't seem to have much bias.

[A good thing. Most worlds could benefit from a little less xenophobia. She's got some strong feelings of caution, but outright hatred over a differing skin color or species origin has never been her style.]

[experiencepoints]

[This time, her laugh is a little more bitter.]

It's thanks to meeting Yura, I think. My parents sure were biased. Total humans-only types. If she hadn't been there, I might have turned out to be just like them.

And I'd have been even worse equipped to handle my team.

[tothefly]

Your team?

[She's still curious about the whole world-ending, but working through complicated personal situations always takes time and patience. Fortunately, she's got both.]

[experiencepoints]

... Takshaka. From my last interdimensional shithole.

[She sighs.]

I can tell you're curious about all of that, but... There's a lot about that place I can't say. If I say the wrong thing, slip up with the wrong word... People will die. I can explain some of it, but...