IC Voicemail, Driftfleet:

[tothefly]

[There is no recording, just a few clicks and a beep.]

[Leave any IC voice messages or texts for Natasha here.]

Comments

[tothefly]

The one you were sleeping with.

[No judgement in that, either. We all make choices.]

What would having her here change? Is it just having someone else from home?

[experiencepoints]

Someone from home, so I don't feel like I'm crazy whenever all of this is so alien to me. Someone who understands me, and knows me, and can maybe help fill in my life around the amnesia.

... And, she's the one I've been in love with for a long time, so...

[tothefly]

So it would be better, having her around.

[She understands, at least a little.]

What do you think she'd say about all this?

[experiencepoints]

About my being a mess, or this... entire place? She'd be pretty excited to be on TV.

[tothefly]

About this. All of it. The show, the ships, the planets we visit. Would she have liked the ice planet or the beach planet better?

[It's a place to start. Maybe it'll make things worse, talking about these memories, this person, but sometimes that pain of remembering can end up its own catharsis.]

[experiencepoints]

[There's an amused but totally undignified snort of laughter.]

Would the half-cat person prefer freezing her ass off or an unlimited supply of fish? No contest.

[tothefly]

[Laughter is good. Laughter is a start. Natasha smiles, herself.]

Your point is made.

You said your world had lots of different races, right? Cat people, merpeople, elves. Everyone more or less got along?

[experiencepoints]

Beast Tribe. They can have traits of any animal.

[she shakes her head.]

Not really. Beast Tribe and humans are... mostly okay now, except for... a few certain holdouts. The last war between humans and Beast Tribe ended five hundred years ago, when a party banded together to kill the god of war, Tyrfing.

Elves... The elves that live in the city are great, but the forest elves... Well. They kill anyone who sets foot in their forest, no questions asked. Their culture is kind of shit. My friend Araj escaped from there with her family.

Merfolk... we only made contact with them about thirty... Probably closer to thirty-five, that memory was in high school. Thirty five years ago. We don't know much about them, but Cove is a good friend, and ridiculously strong.

[tothefly]

You don't seem to have much bias.

[A good thing. Most worlds could benefit from a little less xenophobia. She's got some strong feelings of caution, but outright hatred over a differing skin color or species origin has never been her style.]

[experiencepoints]

[This time, her laugh is a little more bitter.]

It's thanks to meeting Yura, I think. My parents sure were biased. Total humans-only types. If she hadn't been there, I might have turned out to be just like them.

And I'd have been even worse equipped to handle my team.

[tothefly]

Your team?

[She's still curious about the whole world-ending, but working through complicated personal situations always takes time and patience. Fortunately, she's got both.]

[experiencepoints]

... Takshaka. From my last interdimensional shithole.

[She sighs.]

I can tell you're curious about all of that, but... There's a lot about that place I can't say. If I say the wrong thing, slip up with the wrong word... People will die. I can explain some of it, but...

[tothefly]

Can you explain the part about your world ending, and you surviving? Was there some sort of catastrophic event?

[She won't press for the rest, no matter how curious she is. Lives are at stake. Nightingale isn't a mission, and in lieu of a suitable return for the cost, she'll always vote in favor of lives saved.]

[experiencepoints]

[She shrugs.]

Well... Most importantly, I didn't survive. What you're talking to now is... a loose collection of shards from the shattered remains of Aiya's soul. I tried to get my shards, my memories, back, but... I got about halfway through before I was taken here. I told you once before, right? "I" technically don't exist.

Everyone at that castle was the same. Just... Tiny fragments of our souls, without memories, after our worlds were destroyed.

[tothefly]

You exist enough for me. I don't know if any of this is real--we've talked about that. But it doesn't matter, I think. You've been around long enough, experienced enough, that you're real enough. Don't think that you aren't.

[This time it's Natasha's turn to drink, expression remote as she thinks about her own home. What defines a soul. What makes a personality. What makes a person. It's all complicated, if you really get into the semantics, but honestly it couldn't be more simple, to her.]

[experiencepoints]

Can't help thinking that way.

[She sighs.]

All I can tell you is that it was destroyed by something called a 'Reaper'. At the castle, every single person there was the same. Their worlds had been destroyed, and their souls shattered, competing in sick events called 'games' to try to recover our souls and bring back our homes.

[tothefly]

Only one of you, from each world?

[Hard to imagine. She'd be demanding proof, needing to know, to touch...but without memories, how do you know what's real? How do you know you're even you? Amnesia is terrifying. She's seen the results of a wiped memory firsthand. To be in that position...she can't imagine. Doesn't want to.]

[experiencepoints]

... Some of us. Some worlds had two or three people, and somehow, they always ended up being people who knew each other. There were so many different 'Earth' people there that it's possible some of them were in the same world and just didn't know it, I guess...

I never had anyone else from my world there.

[tothefly]

So you've just been seeing people all over find people from their worlds, and never anyone from yours. That must be difficult. Lonely.

[experiencepoints]

... Yeah. I'd do... just about anything to see my friends again.

[tothefly]

[She doesn't share. Doesn't talk about herself. It's a weakness, gives people a way in. But every now and then, she feels that a couple words can make all the difference. They can save lives, change them. Maybe these aren't those words, but...]

I've never had anything I would call a friend. Not really. It's not exactly something you do in my line of work. Friends are a liability. But my life isn't for everyone. They're important to you, aren't they? Your friends.

[experiencepoints]

... They are. I... can't imagine a life without friends. I was supposed to be that way, but I'm not strong enough to be able to endure that...

Yura decided to befriend me, who didn't know anyone. She saved me from loneliness, and made me feel like maybe I was worth something. Araj was the first person I managed to befriend myself, a similar person to me, but she always believed in me. Cove was just someone we met by chance, but now we trust each other with our lives, and she tries to protect us from everything she can...

I can't imagine a life without any of them, and here I am stuck living it.

[tothefly]

It's not about strength. Just some people do better with others. Some people are meant to be alone. There's no shame in it. I have a...partner, who'd agree with you. Friendship is important. Necessary, even. Haven't you made friends here?

[experiencepoints]

I have, but... It's so hard to connect with people here.

[tothefly]

Because of who they are, or because they keep leaving?